A man had a flat tire on a very cold winter day. He told his girl
friend he'd have it fixed in no time. 
However as it was very cold his hands kept getting cold. He asked
his girl if he could put his hands between her knees to warm them. 

She said that would be allright. After getting his hands warm he
went back to fixing the tire but it was so cold he could not
continue so he again asked his girl if he could warm his hands.

She again said it would be allright. When his hands were warm he
went back to fixing the tire once more. But before he been out
there five minutes or so he again asked her if he could warm his
hands.

His girl asked "Honey don't your ears ever get cold?" 

What do you call a woman who can suck golf balls through a hose?

Darling.

Q: What's the worst thing about washing your cat?
A: Getting the fur off your tongue afterwards.

A married man thought he would give his wife a birthday
surprise by buying her a bra. He entered a ladies shop
rather intimidated, but the girls took charge to help him.

    "What color?" they asked. He settled for white.

    "How much does it cost?" he asked. "Twenty dollars."
    "Very good," he thought. All that remained was
     the size, but he hadn't the faintest idea.

    "Now sir, are they the size a pair of melons? Coconuts?
     Grape fruits? Oranges?"

    "No," he said, "nothing like that."

    "Come on, sir, think. There must be something your wife's
     bust resembles."

He thought long and hard and then looked up and said,
    "Have you ever seen a Spaniel's ears?"

It was their first date, and she'd shown the patience of a saint 
as he babbled on and on about his hobbies, his pet peeves, his 
driving techniques, and even the standards he used to choose 
his barber.

Finally, he came up for air and said, "But enough about me. 
Let's talk about you." 

She breathed a sigh of relief.

He went on, "What do you think about me?"