Albert arrives at a party and introduces himself to the first person he 
sees and asks, "What is your IQ?" to which the man answers, "241." "That 
is wonderful!," says Albert. "We will talk about the Grand Unification 
Theory and the mysteries of the Universe. We will have much to discuss!" 
Next Albert introduces himself to a woman and asks, "What is your IQ?" to 
which the lady answers, "144." "That is great!," responds Albert. "We can 
discuss politics and current affairs. We will have much to discuss!" 
Albert goes to another person and asks, "What is your IQ?" to which the 
man answers, "51." Albert responds, "How about them, Cowboys?"

An old sailing ship is becalmed at sea with a full complement of 
sailors. They are stuck there for days and days with nothing to 
do. 

One morning the captain decides he is going to lay on some 
entertainment for the men. 

He orders a barrel to be placed on the top deck. It has an 
orifice in the side and he invites each one of the men to "take 
the pleasures" of the barrel to their heart's content. Soon a full-
fledged hedonistic orgy is underway. 

The men are cheerful once again and morale is boosted. Things 
reach such a frenzy that even the captain's dog has a go. Once 
the party is over and the barrel is full of the team's spirit, it is 
bunged up and thrown overboard. The ship sails away. 

A few days later the barrel comes ashore on the beach of a 
deserted island in the middle of nowhere. The only inhabitants 
of the island are the nuns who have founded their convent there. 
The nuns find the barrel and open it. They don't recognize the 
contents and take it to be wax, from which they fashion 
candles. 

Of course, nuns being nuns, they use the candles in the way 
only nuns can. 

Nine months later an inordinate number of babies appear 
inexplicably on the island. One of the nuns is very guilty about 
her sins and approaches the Mother Superior for confession. 

"Forgive me, Mother. I have had a baby." 

The Mother Superior says, "That's nothing, my child. I've had 
puppies."

A foursome is waiting at the men's tee when another foursome of ladies
are hitting from the ladies tee.

The ladies are taking their time and when finally the last one is ready
to hit the ball she hacks it about 10 feet, goes over to it, hacks it
another ten feet and looks up at the men waiting and says apologetically
"I guess all those fucking lessons I took this winter didn't help."

One of the men immediately replies "No, you see that's your problem. You
should have been taking golf lessons instead."

    A very modest lady applied for a job at the factory where
   they made "Tickle me Elmo dolls". It was Friday and almost quitting
   time and hurriedly the boss told her to report for work on Monday. He
   quickly explained to her that she would be stationed on the assembly
   line just before the dolls were packed into boxes. On Monday they
   started up the line and within twenty minutes had to shut it down
   because one worker couldn't keep up. The boss went down the line to
   find the problem. The new employee was very busy trying to do her part
   but she had a bunch of dolls waiting for her. Closer examination
   showed that she was sewing little cloth bags containing two walnuts in
   the appropriate place on the dolls. The boss could not control his
   laughter and said, "Lady, I said to give each doll
   Two----Test----Tickles."

A company in the Foreign Legion had spent three years in the Sahara desert 
never having seen a woman. They finally decide to send one private on 
vacation to the nearest town to spend some time with a woman and tell them
all about it. After a week the private comes back all happy and relaxed. 
The whole company crowds around him waiting to hear of his great 
escapades. "And on the third day..." he began. "No! no! start with the 
first day," Everyone yells out in chorus. "And on the third day, " the 
private continues " she asked me to stop so she could go to the 
bathroom..."