A truck driver breaks down and shortly another trucker stops to give
him hand. He notices that the first driver has a big red spot painted
on his dash and asks him what it's for. He replies "Oh that's a
conversation piece for when I pick up female hitchhikers. I get lots
of pussy that way" The other driver thinks that's a great idea so he
paints a red spot on his dash too. Then he sees a girl hitchhiking so
he picks her up. She notices the red spot on the dash and asks him
what it's for. He says "It's a conversation piece. You wanna fuck?"

Little Johnny was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his mother, 
"How was I born?" "The stork brought you to us." "Oh," said Little Johnny. 
"Well, how did you and daddy get born?" he asked. "Oh, the stork brought 
us too." "So. . . how were grandpa and grandma born?" "Well, darling, the 
stork brought them too," said the mother. The next day Little Johnny 
handed in his paper to the teacher. It read, "This report is impossible to 
write due to the fact that there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my 
family for three generations."

Q: Did you hear about the two poofters who went to London?
A: They were REALLY pissed off when they found out Big Ben was a clock.

The McCartney kids are at the family ranch anxiously
awaiting news of their mother. 
Paul emerges from his wife's bedroom. 
"Kid's......there's good news and bad news." 
"The bad news is your mother's strength and will to
live has been sucked away by her awful disease and she
died a few moments ago" 
"The good news is.... It's steak and chips for dinner!" 

How do you piss your girlfriend of when your having sex?

Call her up