How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Four. Actually, only one to screw it in.
The other 3 are there to listen to him
brag about the screwing part! 

A little girl was out with her Grandmother when they came across a
   couple of dogs mating on the sidewalk.
   "What are they doing, Grandma?" asked the little girl.
   The grandmother was embarrased, so she said, "The dog on top has hurt
   his paw, and the one underneath is carrying him to the doctor."
   They're just like people, aren't they Grandma?" said the little one.
   "How do you mean?" asked the Grandma.
   "Offer someone a helping hand," said the little girl, "and they fuck
   you everytime!"

   There were three Eskimos in Alaska, and one time while they were at
   their local bar, they
   got to talking about how cold it was outside, and how cold their
   igloos were. They could
   agree on everything but whose igloo was the coldest, so they decided
   to determine who,
   indeed, had the coldest igloo.
   They went to the first Eskimo's igloo, where he said "Watch this!" and
   poured a cup of
   water into the air. Well, the water froze in mid-air and fell onto the
   floor solid. "Not bad"
   said the other Eskimos, but each maintained their igloo was colder
   still.
   So they went to the second Eskimo's igloo, and he said "Watch this!"
   and took a big breath
   and exhaled, whereupon his breath froze into a big lump and fell to
   the floor. "Wow,
   that's colder than mine!"said the first Eskimo. But the third Eskimo
   exclaimed his was
   colder still.
   So they ended up at the third Eskimo's igloo. He said "Watch this!"
   and went into the
   bedroom, looked under three hugh back thick furs, and retrieved one of
   several small balls
   of ice there. He took one of the small balls of ice and put it in a
   spoon, and held a match
   under it. When it heated up enough, it went "FFFAAAARRRRTTT".
   He won..............................................................
   

A tall woman met a midget at a party. The midget was barely 
three feet tall but they were attracted to each other.
After a few drinks they went back to the tall woman's 
apartment.
"I can't imagine what it will be like making love to a midget," 
said the woman, "especially with the size difference and all."
"Just take off your cloths, lie back on the bed, spread your legs 
apart and close your eyes," said the midget.
The woman did as she was told and soon she felt the biggest 
thing she'd ever experienced inside her.
Within a few minutes the woman had climaxed eight times.
"If you think that was good," said the midget with a smirk, "Just 
wait till I get BOTH legs in there!"

New scientific theories

4th RunnerUp--  The earth may spin faster on its axis due to
deforestation. Just as a figure skater's rate of spin increases
when the arms are brought in close to the body, the cutting of tall
trees may cause our planet to spin dangerously fast.