New paint store just opened up by my place, so I decided as any 
red-blooded, sexually repressed young lad to pay it a visit. When I went 
in I saw signs all over advertising the newest color: "Natural Blonde". 
There weren't any samples around, so I asked the clerk to describe it to 
me. He replied, "Natural Blonde? Wonderful new paint: not too bright, but 
spreads easily!"

Back in the old days my Uncle Bucky bought a new
Model A Ford.The next morning he was on his way
to work and crashed into a car pulling out from
a sidestreet. Being the witty person that he is,
he wrote a letter to the Ford Motor Company..
"I blew my horn, it did no good; and now i have a
busted hood". Two days later a delivery truck
arrived at his residence with a brand new hood.

Sent by Cliff

Beginning next year, Santa Clara County's jails will ban 
cigarettes, stop handing out sugar and begin charging for 
coffee. Prison officials are also contemplating a complete end 
to bed turn-down / chocolate mint service and expect to slash 
the concierge's hours in half.