A little boy who prayed for a bicycle had an even more startling
surprise instead -- a baby sister.  That night he had a talk with God
about His delivery service.  "I got a sister instead of a bike," he
explained to God.  "Maybe some other kid wanted a sister and got my
bike.  Is there any chance we can keep the girl and get me a bike, too?"

from "Faith, Hope and Hilarity:  The Child's Eye View
of Religion" by Dick Van Dyke

Between my post-USMC and my present mathematician era, I 
was a cop. A judge who later ended up on the 2d District Court 
of Appeals told me once, "The only differences between 
lawyers and protitutes are that prostitutes are generally better 
looking and more honest about how they make a living."

On Campus:
"In a rare lapse of generosity, the NCAA has decided college
athletes can get jobs. This statement was sent via ship-to-shore
cable from the NCAA yacht SS TV Revenue anchored off Monte Carlo." 

"Athletes just can't make it anymore on what alumni give them," says Alan Ray.