There was a young lady named Peaches 
               Who frequented the very best beaches. 
                    She refused the lifeguard, 
                    Though he breast-stroked her hard--- 
               She preferred to be sucked off by leeches. 

Another Month Ends: 

     All Targets Met
     All Systems Working
     All Customers Satisfied
     All Staff Eager and Enthusiastic
     All Pigs Fed and Ready to Fly 

There once was a fellow named Clyde,
Who fell in an outhouse and died.
Along came his brother
Who fell in another,
And now they're interred side by side. 

Part 3 of 3
Then up spoke a lady from Kew,
And said, as the Bishop withdrew,
"The vicar is quicker
And thicker and slicker,
And longer and stronger than you."

There once was a man of Sag Harbor 
            Who used to go with a fag barber. 
                He gave some auditions 
                In many positions, 
            And now he plays flute with Jan Garber.