There was a young man of Datchet 
               Who cut off his prick with a hatchet. 
                    Then very politely 
                    He sent it to Whitely, 
               And ordered a cunt that would match it. 

               "There is a young girl here at Vassar 
               And none, for your needs, could surpass her. 
                    But she cannot detach it 
                    And much less dispatch it. 
               You'll still have to bach it. Alas, sir!" 

An old maiden who barely did kissing,
Soon discovered what she had been missing.
When laid down on the sod,
She cried out, "Oh, God!
All these years I just used it for pissing!" 

                              A chap down in Oklahoma 
                              Had a cock that could sing La Paloma, 
                                        But the sweetness of pitch 
                                        Couldn't put off the hitch 
                              Of impotence, size and aroma. 

               A maiden sat under a tree 
               And played with the lad's fiddle-dee, 
                    His little wood post--- 
                    Soon her jewel is lost 
               From the casket where it used to be. 

A progressive and young Eskimo
Grew tired of his squaw, and so
Slipped out of his hut
To look for a slut
Who knew the very fine art of Blow.