Stuffing the turkey at Christmas
Reminded me of you
The melons in the market
The pears and peaches too
Cracking open Christmas nuts
Brought memories of your gentle touch
But all the while it hurt so much
'cos I'm still in love with you...


Copyright: D. Harvey 1998.

By a cozy peat fire in O'Dell, 
               Sat a Scot and a Mick, I hear tell. 
                    "I'm full," cried O'Brien. 
                    Said McLoed,"Well, I'm buyin'." 
               Sure and now, that's a cold day in hell. 

Someone in Winslow, Maine didn't like Mr. Wood:

In Memory of Beza Wood
Departed this life
Nov. 2, 1837
Aged 45 yrs.
Here lies one Wood
Enclosed in wood
One Wood
Within another.
The outer wood
Is very good:
We cannot praise
The other.

                    There once was a lady from Salem
                            
                    Who used to take cocks and inhale 'em.
                            The fruits of these feats:
                            Pubic hairs from her teeth
                            
                    Were saved until Fall when she'd bale 'em.
                            

There once was a young man from Leeds
Who swallowed a packet of seeds.
Great tufts of grass
Grew out of his ass,
And his cock was all covered with weeds.