Here lies the bones of Screwy Dick,
He spent his whole life with a corkscrew prick,
He searched and he searched in the feudal hunt,
To find the woman with the corkscrew cunt.
He finally found her and then dropped dead,
The son-of-a-bitch had a left hand thread.


Sent by Todd

   Here I sit
   Broken hearted
   Tried to shit
   But only farted


  

There was a young lady from Brewster
Who's ass was so nice that I goosed her,
        But her panties were thin
        And my finger slipped in
And it still just don't smell like it used ter.

A bather whose clothing was strewed
By breezes that left her quite nude,
Saw a man come along,
And, unless I am wrong,
You expected this line to be lewd.

There was a young athlete named Grimmon 
Who developed a new way of swimmin': 
By a marvellous trick 
He would skull with his prick, 
Which attracted loud cheers from the women.