A young wife in the outskirts of Tass 
               Preferred frigging to going to mass. 
                    Said her husband, "Take Jacques, 
                    Or any young cock, 
               For I cannot live up to your ass." 

There was an old maid of Nantucket
Had an asshole as big as a bucket.
While bent over the oven
A-dreamin' of lovin',
Her goat siezed the moment to fuck it. 

There once was a fellow named Trete 
Who from birth was inclined to be neat. 
He became extra fussy 
When he thought his pants mussy, 
And would throw them away in the street. 

There was a fat turkey named Sam,
Who gobbled whenever he ran.
He came out of the bush,
Presenting his tush,
And was shot up the arse by a man.

There once was a lady, Ilene,
Who liver on distilled kerosene,
But she started absorbin'
A new hydrocarbon
and since then she'd never benzene