Q:  What was the first thing your husband said to you when he
    woke that morning?
A:  He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q:  And why did that upset you?
A:  My name is Susan.

On a first date, a guy escorts a girl home and asks:
Guy: Can I come up for a cup of coffee?
Girl: Actually, I never invite guys over on a first date.
The guy thinks for a minute and says:
Well, what about the last date?

A wife was berating her husband. He motioned for her to quiet 
down saying, "Don't unleash the beast in me."

The wife snickered and replied, "Unlike a lot of women, 'dear', 
I'm not the least bit afraid of a mouse."

On the beach, how can you recognize a guy who uses an
inflatable sex doll?
Instead of staring at the bikinis, he's staring at the beach balls.

Why does a blonde have curtains on her PC?

To open windows