What do you get when you cross a blonde with an ape?

A retarded ape.

A black guy walks into a tavern with a parrot on his shoulder...the
bartender looks up and says " where the hell did you get that thing?
The Parrot replies " Over in Africa, there's millions of them " !!!!

Q: What's a real mate?
A: Someone who'll go into town, get two head jobs and gives you one
….when he returns.

What do you call an armless, legless leper in a swimming pool?

Bob

One day a boy and his father were at the dining room table
working on the boy's Social Studies homework, the chapter
about government. The boy turns to his father and asks,
"Dad, how many people work in the U.S. government?"
The father replies without hesitating, "Oh, about ten percent."