One day a guy was driving with his 4-year-old daughter
and beeped his car horn by mistake.
She turned and looked at him for an explanation.
He said, "I did that by accident."
She replied, "I know that, daddy."
He replied, "How'd you know?"
The girl said, "Because you didn't say 'ASSHOLE!' afterwards!"

Stacking Strategy. It is not enough to pile lots of
documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor etc. .
Can always borrow from library. Thick computer manuals are the best.

A child at a Christian school was studying the early days of Mormonism in 
his class. He wrote on his paper,
"The early Mormons believed in having more than one wife. This is called 
polygamy. But we believe in having only one wife. This is called monotony"

One of the bachelors in the apartment development sneaked up
behind an older woman, covered her eyes with his hands, and said, "I'm
going to kiss you if you can't tell me who I am in three guesses."
She quickly answered, "George Washington!  Thomas Jefferson!
Abraham Lincoln!"

Taylor was desperate for business, and was happy to be appointed by the 
court to defend an indigent defendant. The judge ordered Taylor,
"You are to confer with the defendant in the hallway, and give him the 
best legal advice you can."

After a time, Taylor re-entered the courtroom alone. When the judge asked 
where the defendant had gone, Taylor replied, "You asked me to give him 
good advice. I found out that he was guilty as hell, so I told him to 
split."