A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter.
Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a
neighbour of his. The neighbour happened to be a lawyer. Incensed
at the theft, the butcher called up his neighbour and said, "Hey,
if your dog stole a roast from my butcher shop, would you be liable
for the cost of the meat?" The lawyer replied, "Of course, how much
was the roast?" "$7.98." A few days later the butcher received a
check in the mail for $7.98. Attached to it was an invoice that read:
"Legal Consultation Service: $150."

What is the definition of an overbite?

When you go down on a girl and come up with a mouth full of shit. 

Woman walks into her psychiatrists office and says:
"Hey doc, you know how we have been talking about freudian
slips? Well, I had the most amazing one last night. 
I was eating dinner with my mother, and I meant to say,
"please pass the salt," but instead I said,
"You god damn bitch, you ruined my life." 

Q: Mommy, Mommy! When will we have this nice yellow pudding again?
A: Shut up, you know that grandma's leg is no longer infested.

If men had PMS, what would happen?

a) The federal government would allocate funds to study it.
b) Cramps would become an acceptable reason to apply for permanent 
disability.
c) There would be a federal holiday every 28 days.
d) All of the above.