Q: What do you get when a blond stands on here head?
A: A smelly burnette.

Sent by Tiffany

A man and his date walk into a very posh Rodeo Drive furrier after
having eaten a very expensive lunch at one of Beverly Hills most
exclusive restaurants.
"Show the lady your finest mink!" the fellow exclaims.

So the owner of the shop goes in back and comes out with an
absolutely gorgeous full-length coat. As the lady tries it on, the
furrier sidles up to the guy and discreetly whispers, "Ah, sir, that
particular fur goes for $65,000."

"No problem! I'll write you a check!"

"Very good, sir." says the shop owner. "Today is Saturday. You may
come by on Monday to pick it up, after the check has cleared the bank."

So the man and the woman leave. On Monday, the fellow returns.
The store owner is outraged: "How dare you show your face in here?!
There wasn't a single penny in your checking account!!"

"I just had to come by," grinned the guy,

"to thank you for the most wonderful weekend of my life!"

   Billy-Joe and Betty-Sue get married, and Billy-Joe whisks her away to
   his daddy's hunting cabin in the woods, for a romantic 'nature
   honeymoon'...
   
   He carries her across the threshold, and they get into bed, when
   Betty-Sue whispers in his ear "Billy-Joe, be gentle, I ain never been
   with a man b'fore."
   
   "WHAT???" shouts Billy-Joe, and his little bride softly shakes her
   head...
   
   Billy-Joe jumps out of bed, grabs his clothes, and races out the door,
   into his truck.... down the mountain.... straight to his parents
   house... rushes inside screaming "Hey Daddy!, Paw! Git'up!" .....
   
   His father rushes downstairs and gasps... "Billy-Joe, what'r you doin
   here?"
   
   Billy-Joe, still breathing hard from his mad flight, gasps "Well,
   Betty-Sue an I was in the' cabin, and she toll' me she ain't never
   been with a man' afore.... so's I rushed outta there, an' lit back
   here... quick as I could!"
   
   His father grasps Billy-Joe's shoulder in reassurance, and says "SON,
   Ya done the right thing.... Iffin she ain't good'nuff fer her family,
   she shure as shit ain't good'nuff fer ours!!"
   

Little Johnny catches his parents going at it. He says, "Hey Dad! What are 
you doin?" His father says, "I'm filling your mother's tank." Johnny says, 
"Oh, yeah? Well, you should get a model that gets better mileage. The 
milkman filled her this morning."

What do you say to a one legged hitch-hiker?

Hop in.