There was a blonde and a brunette in a car. The brunette hears a siren 
behind them, so she asks the blonde if its lights are on. The blonde turns 
around and says "yes, no, yes, no....." 

A game

check this out! It only takes about 30 seconds. Don't cheat!

Think of a letter between A and W. Repeat it out loud as you scroll down.








Keep going!










Think of an animal that begins with that letter. Repeat it out loud as you
scroll down.










Think of a man's name that begins with the last letter in that animal.
Say it out loud as you scroll down.










Now count out the letters in that name on the fingers of the hand you are
not using to scroll down.










Take the last finger you counted with, shove it up your ass, and get back
to work, you stupid game playing bastard!

Sent by Zena

   One day, while an elephant was walking through the woods, she got a
   thorn stuck in her foot. She saw an ant passing and asked him to help
   her get the thorn out.
   
   The ant asked, "What do I get in return?"
   
   The elephant replied, "If you get it out, I'll have sex with you."
   
   So the ant gets busy taking the thorn out. When he finally gets it out
   he looks up at the elephant and says "OK it's out, are you ready?".
   
   The elephant thinks, "Hey, what's a little ant gonna do anyways?" The
   ant climbs up and starts to work away. Just then a monkey overhead
   drops a coconut on the elephant's head.
   
   "Ouch" screams the elephant, and the ant responds, "Yeah take it all
   bitch."
   

Moon Mission

NASA is launching a rocket to the moon. On board there are two  pigs and 
Kiki, a stunning blonde. When the rocket is outside the stratosphere, the 
first stage drops off.
Contact is made: "Houston here, Pig 1, Pig 1, do you read us? Over."
"Oink, oink, here Pig 1, read you loud and clear."
"Pig 1, do you still know your instructions?"
"Yes, when we get to the moon, I press the red button to initiate the moon 
landing. Over."
"That's right. Over and out."
They go on until the rocket separates its booster stage.
"Hello, Pig 2? Come in please."
"Oink, oink, here Pig 2, read you loud and clear."
"OK, Pig 2 do you remember your instructions?"
"Yes, when we've landed on the moon and are ready to leave, I press on the 
green button to initiate the launch program."
"That's right, Pig 2. Over and out."
An hour later, when the rocket has achieved the correct speed the last 
stage drops off as planned. Ground control contacts the astronauts again.
"Houston here, Kiki, come in. Kiki do you read us?"
"Kiki here, reading you loud and clear."
"Kiki, do you remember your instructions?"
"Yes," Kiki says, "I feed the two pigs and keep my hands off any buttons."

A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his 
nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.

"What's the matter with me?" he asks the doctor.

The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly."