Does DEC still make toasters...? They made good toasters in the '70s, didn't they?

There was an airplane full of a shipment of Pepsi flying over Africa.
   It suddenly had a malfunction and went down. A few weeks later,
   PepsiCo sent a rescue plane out to look for the lost plane. They found the
   wreckage but were unable to locate the crew. They searched the area
   and found a tribe of cannibals. They walked up to the Chief of the tribe
   and asked him if he knew anything about the crash. The Chief says,
   "Yeah". When asked where the crew was the Chief replied, "We ate the
   crew and drank the Pepsi." The Rescue crew was shocked. One man asked,
   "Did you eat their legs?" The chief replied, "We ate their legs and we
   drank the Pepsi." Another rescuer asked, "Did you eat their arms?" The
   Chief said, "We ate their arms, and we drank the Pepsi". After looking
   totally perplexed for a minute a third added, "Did you...you
   know...eat
   their....things"?? The chief says, "No." "No?" asked the rescuers.
   "NO", replied the Chief, " THINGS go better with COKE!!!"

Hear about the guy who played a blank tape at full blast.
The mime next door went nuts.

What was Moby Dick's father's name?

                      Papa Boner. 

   An Undertaker rings the wife of a dead man he is to bury...
   
   u/t.. "Mrs Smith, this is the manager of the burial service and we
   have a bit of a problem with your husband."
   
   wife.. "What's wrong?"
   
   u/t.. "As you know, he was rather a 'well built' man. When Rigor
   Mortise sets in to a male corpse, he ends up with an erection and,
   basically, we can't close the lid of your husband's coffin."
   
   wife.. "Well, what can you do?"
   
   u/t.. "We can get a special coffin made that is about 3" taller than
   standard but it will cost you an extra $500."
   
   wife.. "I can't afford that. Can't you do something to solve the
   problem which is a little less expensive?"
   
   The undertaker thinks for a second, then makes a suggestion.
   
   u/t.. "We could remove his penis."
   
   wife.. "Hang on, I want him all there, together in his coffin when we
   bury him. I don't want bits of him lying around."
   
   u/t.. "No worries, we can remove his penis and insert it in his
   rectum."
   
   wife.. "OK, but only on 2 conditions. It can't cost any extra and I
   want to see the body immediately before the funeral."
   
   u/t.. "OK, see you before the funeral."
   
   Scene shifts to the Chapel just before the funeral. The undertaker
   shows the wife into the back room where they have the guy laid out in
   the coffin, wearing his best suit, with the make-up on to make him
   look presentable. The undertaker closes the door of the room behind
   him as he leaves the wife alone with her dearly departed husband for
   the last time.
   
   She goes up to her husband's body and silently says her last, private
   goodbyes. As she is doing this she notices a small tear has trickled
   out of the corner of his eye and spoiled the make-up. She looks around
   to see if anyone else is in the room. When she knows she is there by
   herself, she bends down and whispers in her husband's ear, "Bloody
   hurts, doesn't it?"