The ad in the paper from the Humane Society read: 

     "Over 25 puppies will be put to death if not adopted. Please Help" 

Blondes Protective Computer Gear

Yesterday I came back to my office from Court. There was a new
secretary (a very attractive blonde) in the office down the hall from
me.

She flagged me down and asked for help. "My floppy drive won't work,
can you help me ?" she asked. I told her I'd take a look and
proceeded over to her machine, where I found shredded up clear
plastic Baggie-like stuff hanging out of her 3.5" floppy drive.

While I spent the next 20 minutes getting out her disk and digging
out the plastic, I noticed two guys, John and Dave, in the hall
trying awfully hard to keep straight faces. Suspecting some mischief,
I asked her how the plastic got into the drive.

"Oh, you mean the condom!", she said. "Condom???", I asked. "Yes,
John & Dave over there told me to always put a condom on my disk
before inserting it, to prevent catching viruses."

By this point, John & Dave were roaring, and it was all I could do to
keep from joining them. The "condom" turned out to be a standard 3.5"
plastic sleeve. I delicately explained to her that a practical joke
had been played, and she shouldn't do that anymore, when she asked
(as serious as one could be), "Does that mean I don't have to stroke
it ten times or blow on it either???"

Matsushita Electric is promoting a new Japanese PC targeted
at the Internet. Panasonic has developed a complete Japanese
Web browser, and to make the system "user-friendly", licensed
the cartoon character "Woody Woodpecker" as the "Internet
guide." Panasonic eventually planned on a world version of the
product. 

A huge marketing campaign was to have introduced the product in
Japan last week. The day before the ads were to be released,
Panasonic suddenly pulled back and delayed the product launch
indefinitely. 

The reason: the ads featured the slogan "Touch Woody - The Internet
Pecker." An American staff member at the internal product launch
explained to the stunned and embarrassed Japanese what "touch woody"
and "pecker" meant in American slang. 

     -From EE Times, October 8, 1996