CONFIDENTIAL OPINIONS ABOUT LOVE

"I'm in favor of love as long as it doesn't happen when 'The
Simpsons' is on television."  (Anita, 6)

"Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I
have been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls
keep finding me."  (Bobby, 8)

"I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade
hard enough."  (Regina, 10)

My husband was telling me a joke while my 7 year old son 
listened.  In the joke is a line about a barber being told *not* to
put hair tonic on the customer because the customer's wife 
would think he'd been to a whorehouse.  Another customer 
tells a second barber to go ahead and splash it on -- his wife
doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like.  
My son turns to me and says, "Do *you* know what it smells
like, Mommy?"

When Linda was moving out of her place, she'd found a bag of 
marijuana seeds in the dresser drawer.  She tossed 'em out 
into the raised vegetable beds.  "A few months later, a friend 
called me and told me that my ex had been busted by the cops 
for growing pot in the back yard!"