"My wife just got pregnant ... She took seriously what was poked at her in fun!" 

"If you tape a piece of buttered bread to 
the back of a cat butter side up and drop 
the cat, which will hit the ground, the 
cats fet or the buttered side of the 
bread?...Neither the assembly will reach 
a elevation of one foot from the ground 
and start to spin uncontrollably, 
perpetual motion."

AND FINALLY, ON DRUGS AND DEVELOPMENT
   There are two major products to come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We
   don't believe this to be a coincidence.

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just
   can't face each other, but still they stay together. -- Hemant Joshi

"I was recently on a tour of Latin America,
and the only regret I have was that I didn't
study Latin harder in school so I could
converse with those people." 

    - J. Danforth Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President