If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already?
                                      - - - Cynthia Heimel

"The top ten reasons why masturbation is better than sex:

10.
9.
8.
7.
6.
5.
4.
3.
2.
1."
                        -- unknown

"He's in whatever DII has been renamed to this week."
                        -- Andrew Rutherford

'Oh what a tangled web we weave' - Hair Club for Men.

"Oh yeah? My ENTIRE FAMILY was killed by gangsters... or maybe they moved
 to Tucson... and now I crave VENGEANCE."
"HA! My entire family AND MY DOG were crushed during a civil war re-
 enactment... and now I'm ITCHING to dispense justice indiscriminately!!"
"I just like to KILL people."
                        -- Various generic vigilante superheroes, "The Tick"