"I don't have anything against geeks. I was one for 11 years! I used to
 think PC's were the greatest thing since sliced bread... Then someone
 showed me sliced bread."

-- Unknown, from Charles Seggelin's 1996 Quote Book,

Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the
   world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that
   but not with all those flies and death and stuff.
   -- Mariah Carey

"We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass 
destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. 
There's just one problem - it's in North Korea."

                                                 - Jon Stewart

"The winds of political correctness now dictate press-backing of
 Microsoft the new national pasttime.  It will do until Bill Gates
 sleeps with Monica Lewinski (I can see it now... M: 'Uh... it was
 dark; I thought he was Bill Clinton...')."

-- Terry Lambert, comp.unix.bsd.freebsd.misc

A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would
make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit.

    -- In the August 1993 issue, page 9, of PS magazine, the Army's magazine of preventive
    maintenance