For sculpture that's really first class 
               You need form, composition, and mass. 
                    To do a good Venus 
                    Just leave off the penis, 
               And concentrate all on the ass. 

There was a young lady of Clewer
Who was riding a bike when it threw her.
A man saw her there
With her legs in the air
And seized the occasion to screw her. 

There was a young fellow named Fritz 
               Who planted a acre of tits. 
                    They came up in the fall, 
                    Pink nipples and all, 
               And he chewed them all up into bits. 

An aesthete from South Carolina
Had a cock that tinkled like china,
But while shooting his load
It cracked like old Spode,
So he's bought him a Steuben vagina.

                    A sweet young strip dancer named Jane
                            
                    Wore five inches of thin cellophane.
                            When asked why she wore it
                            She said, "I abhor it,
                            
                    But my juices would spatter like rain,"