There was a young man named Tom
Who ran screaming home to his mom.
The fear of the Bomb
Scared him back in the womb---
The bastard, he wasn't so dumb!

The was a young man from Dundee,
Who was stung on the neck by a wasp.
When asked "did it hurt",
He said "No, not a bit,
It can do it again if it wants."

John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:

Reader if cash thou art
In want of any
Dig 4 feet deep
And thou wilt find a Penny.

There once was a gay young Parisian 
            Who came to an awful decision: 
                For his sexual joys 
                He'd have women and boys, 
            And snakes too---and no supervision! 

There was a young lady named Sue 
            Who preferred a stiff drink to a screw. 
                But one leads to the other, 
                And now she's a mother--- 
            Let this be a lesson to you.