To the shrine which was Pallas Athena's 
            Young Bito (who'd learned about penis) 
                Brought her needles and thread 
                And scissors and said, 
            "You can stick them---I'm changing to Venus!" 

There was a young student of Yale 
                                        Who was getting his first piece of tail. 
                                                      He shoved in his pole, 
                                                      But in the wrong hole, 
                                        And a voice from beneath yelled: "No sale!" 

A pretty young maid from Australia 
            Painted her ass like a dahlia. 
                The colour was fine, 
                And so the design, 
            But the smell was still naturalia! 

There was a young lady of Arden, 
                                        Who s----d off a man in a garden. 
                                                      He said, "My dear Flo, 
                                                      Where does that stuff go?" 
                                        And she said, "(swallow hard)-- I beg pardon?" 
                                                                                                                                      1932 

The Night Before Christmas



Twas the night before Christmas, 
And all through the house, 
Everybody felt shitty, 
Even the mouse.

With mom at the whore house
And Dad smoking grass,
I'd just settled down 
For a nice piece of ass.

When out on the lawn 
I heard such a clatter,
I sprung from my piece
To see what was the matter.

Then out on the lawn,
I saw a big dick,
And I knew in a moment
That it must be Saint Nick.

He came down the chimney 
Like a bat out of hell,
And I knew right away
That the fucker had fell.

He filled all our stockings 
With pretzels and beer,
And a big rubber dick
For my brother, the queer.

He rose up the chimney
With a thunderous fart; 
The damn son of a bitch
Blew the chimney apart!

He swore and he cursed,
As he rode out of sight,
"Piss on you all,
And have a hell of a night!"