A phenomenal fellow named Preston 
               Has a hair-padded lower intestine. 
                    Though exceedingly fine 
                    In the buggery line, 
               It isn't much good for digestin'. 

                    There was a young lady who came from Decatur,
                            
                    Sang like a bird in a movie theater.
                            An alley cat heard
                            Her sing like a bird,
                            
                    So he snuck in her room and he ate her.
                            

There once was a man named Sweenie,
 who spilled some gin on his weenie.
 So just to be couth,
 he spilled some vermouth.
 And then slipped his girl a Martini.

On his honeymoon sailing the ocean 
               A tightwad displayed much emotion 
                    When he learned, one fine day, 
                    He'd been fucking away 
               What could have been bottled as lotion. 

There was a young fellow in Buckingham. 
            Wrote a treatise on cunts and on sucking them, 
                But later this work 
                Was eclipsed by a Turk 
            Whose topic was ass-holes and fucking them.