There was a young singer named Springer, 
               Got his testicles caught in a wringer. 
                    He hollered in pain 
                    As they rolled down the drain, 
               (falsetto): "There goes my career as a singer!" 

                    There was a young lady of Bhore
                            
                    Who was courted by gallants galore.
                            Their ardent protestin'
                            She found interestin',
                            
                    And ended her life as a virgin.
                            
                                              

There was a gay parson of Tooting 
            Whose roe he was frequently shooting, 
                Till he married a lass 
                With a face like my ass, 
            And a cunt you could put a top-boot in. 

               While spending the winter at Pau 
               Lady Pamela forgot to say "No." 
                    So the head-porter made her 
                    The second-cook laid her; 
               The waiters were all hanging low. 

He's teaching her arithmetic, he said it was his mission.
He kissed her once, he kissed her twice and said, "Now that's addition."
And as he added smack by smack, in silent satisfication,
she sweetly gave the kisses back and said, "Now that's subtraction."

Then he kissed her, she kissed him without an explanation.
And both together smiled and said, "That's multiplication."
Then Dad appeared upon the scene and made a quick decision.
He kicked that kid three blocks away and said, "That's long division!"