Homer:  Boy, you don't have to follow in my footsteps.
Bart:   Don't worry, I don't even like using the bathroom after you.
Homer:  Why you little -- !

Did you know that Mike Tyson has an upcoming bout with Prince Charles? 

     It seems that no-one else has big enough ears to go 12 rounds. 

A rookie police officer was assigned to ride in a cruiser with an 
experienced partner. A call came over the car's radio telling 
them to disperse some people who were loitering. 

The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd 
standing on a corner. The rookie rolled down his window and 
said, "Let's get off the corner." 

No one moved, so he barked again, "Let's get off the corner!" 
Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled 
glances in his direction. Proud of his first official act, the young 
policeman turned to his partner and asked, "Well, how did I 
do?"

"Pretty good," replied the veteran, "especially since this was a 
bus stop."

Q: What do Kodak cameras have in common with condoms?
A: Both capture the moment.

Father Goose Story No. 9



   Once there was a King who was loved by all of his subjects, especially
because of the hunting excursions he shared with them.  As will happen,
one day he died and his eldest son took the throne.  Now this new king
was an animal-lover to the core, and immediately outlawed all forms of
hunting and fishing.  His subjects accepted this for only a short time
before they ousted him.  This is a truly significant event, because it's
the first time a reign was called on account of the game.