A man suspected his wife was cheating on him, so when
he left town, he hired a famous Chinese detective to
investigate. A few days later he received this letter.

Most Honorable Sir,

You leave house,
He come to house.
He and she leave house,
I follow.
He and she go to hotel,
I climb tree to see.
He kiss she,
she kiss he.
He strip she,
she strip he.
I play with me,
I fall out of tree,
I not see.

No fee,

Chen Lee

The Yuppette had risen to executive level in the company in no 
time at all. Hearing rumors about her, the husband confronted 
his wife and accused her of sleeping with all of the top level 
managers.

"Now that's entirely false." she cried. "I took the easy route and 
slept with anyone who mattered at least twice."

Sidney has a problem with premature ejaculation, so he pays a visit to a 
sex shop for a remedy. The clerk hands him a little purple can and 
says, "This is Stay-Hard spray... put on a little and you can go all 
night!"
Excited, Sidney takes it home, stashes it in the cellar on a shelf, and 
waits eagerly for bedtime. Later that night, he sprays some on his member 
and then goes upstairs to his wife. To his utter disappointment, however, 
the remedy seems to make him orgasm quicker than ever.
The next day, Sidney returns to the sex shop, angrily slammed the can down 
on the counter, and snaps, "This stuff makes me worse than before!"
Upon reading the label, the clerk asks, "I don't suppose your hid this 
stuff on your basement shelf, did you?"
"Yeah, so?"
"You must have grabbed the wrong can, sir... this is Easy-Off."

   The Freudian Slip

   Ted and John are setting in the bar and John asked Ted if he bought
   the train tickets to go
   see the Steelers game this weekend. Ted says yea and kinda looked a
   little funny. John
   said is there anything wrong? Ted said naw, everythings OK. They take
   a few more sips
   of beer and Ted ask John if he had ever embarrassed himself by saying
   something he didnít
   mean to say. John said sure, it happens to everyone. Ted said thereís
   a name for that isnít
   there...you know, where you accidently use the wrong words when you
   are trying to say
   something. Yea, says John, itís called a Freudian slip. Yea, thats it
   said Ted, I couldnít
   think of the word. Why are you asking said John?
   Well, yesterday I went to the train station to get the train tickets
   for Pittsburg, and the girl
   selling tickets has this incredible set of jugs. I pulled out the
   money and laid it on the
   counter and asked her to give me two pickets to Titsburg and then had
   to embarrassingly
   say I mean two tickets to Pittsburg. God, it just embarressed the shit
   out of me. You ever
   done anything that stupid?
   ì Funny you would askî, said John. Just this morning my wife and
   I...gosh, I guess
   weíve been married going on 23 years now..., were having breakfast. I
   was reading the
   paper and drinking my coffie. I meant to say, ìdear, would you please
   pass me the
   sugarî,but instead I said, 'You fucking bitch, youíve ruined my
   life.'"
   

A doctor fell into a well once.
He learned to tend to the sick and leave the well alone.