The room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The Lamaze class 
was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe 
properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at 
this stage of the plan.
"Ladies, exercise is good for you," announced the teacher. "Walking is 
especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the 
time to go walking with your partner!"
The room was very quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised 
his hand.
"Yes?" asked the instructor.
"Is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"

The young playboy took a blind date to an amusement park. They went for a 
ride on the Ferris wheel. The ride completed, she seemed rather bored. 
"What would you like to do next?" he asked. "I wanna be weighed," she
said. So the young man took her over to the weight guessed. "One-twelve," 
said the man at the scale, and he was absolutely right. Next they rode the 
roller coaster. After that, he bought her some popcorn and cotton candy, 
then he asked what else she would like to do. "I wanna be weighed," she 
said. I really latched onto a square one tonight, thought the young man, 
and using the excuse he had developed a headache, he took the girl home. 
The girl's mother was surprised to see her home so early, and asked, 
"What's wrong, dear, didn't you have a nice time tonight?" "Wousy," said 
the girl.

There's this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink.
He stays like that for half-an-hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the
drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down.

The poor man starts crying.  The truck driver says: "Come on man, I was
just joking.  Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see
a man crying."

"No, it's not that. Today is the worst day of my life.  First, I
overslept and was late to an important meeting.  My boss, outrageous,
fired me.

When I left the building to go my car, I found out it was stolen. The
police, said they could do nothing. I got a cab to go home, and after I paid
the cab driver and the cab had gone, I found that I left my wallet in the cab.
I got home only to find my wife with the gardener. I left home
and came to this bar. And when I was thinking about putting an end to
my life, you show up and drink my poison ..."

If men had PMS/PMT, what would happen?
a. The federal government would allocate funds to study it.
b. Cramps would become an acceptable reason to
    apply for permanent disability.
c. There would be a federal holiday every 28 days

The Mortitian arrived at the Mortuary one morning and was
aproached by his assistant.
"Anything interesting happen over-night", asked the mortitian.
"Yes", replied the assistant, "The most gorgeous 18 year-old
blond came in last night. Dead of course"
"What was the cause of death", enquired the mortition.
"I'm not sure",replied the assistant. "But she's got a Prawn
stuck up her cunt!"
"Are you sure?", said the Mortitian.
"Yes, come and have a look for yourself" ,said the assistant
opening the body bag.
The mortitian closely examined the beautifuly trimmed snatch.
"That's not a prawn you stupid wanker", he responded, "That's
her clitoris"
"Are you sure?", said the assisitant,
"'Cuz it certainly tasted like a prawn".