I called a company and asked to speak to Bob. The person who
answered said, "Bob is on vacation. Would you like to hold?"

Well, a couple months back there was this trial in the West Virginia 
courts. A man was being tried for fornicating with a sheep. Anyway,
the key witness was an old fella who was walking along the highway by the 
farm where the sheep was raised. 
The prosecutor asked the witness what he saw. "Well, I was walkin'
along, and saw this sheep just'a eatin' grass. And then this fella walks up
from behind the sheep, real quiet-like." 
"And then what?" asked the prosecutor. 
"Then he unbuckled his belt, and pulled the sheep close." 
" And what happened after that?" 
"Well," said the witness, "they sorta shook for a couple of minutes. 
THEN, afterwards, the sheep turned around... an' licked him!" 
Just then one of the members of the jury leaned over to the jury
member next to him and said, "You know... a good sheep'll do that."

SIGN AT WHITEHOUSE:

        "In case of impeachment, do not panic.  Please select target
        from list of unpopular countries."