On our last vacation, my wife and I saved some money by staying in
a cheap hotel. Just as we were falling asleep, we heard the sounds
of mattress springs and a banging headboard from the next room.

At first we were amused by the amorous couple.
After five minutes it had lost its charm.
After ten minutes we were getting pretty annoyed, in that it was
keeping us awake.
After fifteen minutes, we were just plain ticked off.

After half an hour we were pretty damned impressed. 

The local Burger King was running a promotion. If you told them "It just
tastes better." when ordering they would give you an extra Whopper for 
your trouble.

So I ordered the combo meal and told the girl I wanted the extra Whopper 
with that. So she told me I'd have to say the phrase to get the free 
burger.

"You're kidding.", I said.  "No, sir, go ahead and say it." she laughed.  
"Come on...." I said, hesitating.  Did I really have to mouth an 
advertising slogan to this cute little thing half my age?

We were both laughing by now.  I figured she was serious about it.  So I 
blurted out "You just taste better!"  into the speaker.  All of a sudden 
the speaker lit up with the laughter of the staff, as she managed to choke 
out, "Please drive through sir!".  :-)

Sent by Alton

The re-release of George Lucas' "Star Wars" raked in millions.
"This came as a relief to Princess Leia who had fallen on hard
times and was considering becoming a spokeswoman for Weight
Watchers and Ocean Spray." (Joshua Sostrin)

Says Paul Ecker, "Teenagers all over the country are asking the
same question: Who's Mark Hamil?"

The film was enhanced with even more special effects. "In a
related move, Sweden will re-release Ingmar Bergman's films
"enhanced with even more gloom,'" (Michael Edens)