IDIOTS AT THE AIRPORT

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when
the airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your
baggage without your knowledge?"  I said, "If it was without my
knowledge, how would I know?"  He smiled and nodded knowingly,
"That's why we ask."

From the "Say What?" file -- true story: I'm taking two classes
this semester, one of which is Public Policy. Our professor is an
adjunct; nice lady, tries too hard. Anyway, a few weeks ago,
we're covering a chapter on environmental politics, and she casts
an overhead with facts and figures on some of the more powerful
environmental lobbying groups. Among them is the Audubon Society.
If you do not know what the Audubon Society is, then stop reading.

So one of the students asks, "What is the Audubon Society?"
(Bird watchers, if you ignored my previous instructions.) To
which the professor replies:

"I don't know, I think it's a group to protect that road in Germany."

It hits me like a spear. "She did not just say that, did she?" I think
to myself. I look up -- and she's serious.

"That's Auto-BAHN, not Audubon!" I reply, only to be drowned out by the
chorus of students in the back who are either laughing or yelling,
"Birds! Birds!"

"What?" she says.

I reply, "It's a group organized for the protection of birds."

She stays silent for a moment, then responds, "Well, what kind of bird
is an audubon, is it a spotted owl or something?"

Judges don't always seem to make sense. A man found himself in front of a 
judge on two matters. In the first, the man's wife was trying to get a 
divorce because he was impotent. In the second, his secretary wanted child 
support.  The man lost both cases!