"More than 25,000 dedicated gun lovers from across Northern Idaho flocked to
 the Coeur d'Alene Convention Center for the two-day event, happily
 sublimating homosexual impulses amid a carefully maintained facade of
 platonic camaraderie."

-- "Homoerotic Overtones Enliven NRA Meeting"
from The Onion, http://www.theonion.com

If you think that sex is a pain in the ass, you're doing it backwards.

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are
having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe 
swelling. So what's the problem?

                 -Jay Leno

Ross's Law
Bare feet magnetize sharp metal objects so they always point upwards from
the floor-especially in the dark.

 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.