There was a young vampire called Mabel
Whose periods were very unstable.
One night by the moon,
She pulled out a spoon
And drank herself under the table. 

Another young lady would make 
               Advances to snake after snake. 
                    Though men she had met 
                    Got her diaphragm wet, 
               She wanted her glottis to shake. 

               A vice both obscene and unsavory 
               Holds the Mayor of Southhampton in slavery. 
                    With bloodcurdling howls 
                    He deflowers young owls 
               Which he keeps in an underground aviary. 

There was a young gal from Montana
Who had an affair with a banana.
She hugged it and squeezed it,
Loved it and teased it, and said
"It tastes better than a mana." 

An agreeable girl named Miss Doves
Likes to jack off the young men she loves.
She will use her bare fist
If the fellows insist
But she really prefers to wear gloves.