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Today's poems [6.29.06]

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There was a young harlot named Schwartz
Whose cock-pit was studded with warts,
        And they tickled so nice
        She drew a high price
From the studs at the summer resorts.

Her pimp, a young fellow named Biddle,
Was seldom hard up for a diddle,
        For according to rumor
        His tool had a tumor
And a fine row of warts down the middle.

1.   Vote:    Category: Women Send this poem to a friend




There was a young girl, very sweet, 
               Who thought sailors' meat quite a treat. 
                    When she sat on their lap 
                    She unbuttoned their flap. 
               And always had plenty to eat. 

2.   Vote:    Category: Sex Send this poem to a friend




There was a young fellow named Paul
                            
                    Who confessed, "I have only one ball.
                            But the size of my prick
                            Is God's dirtiest trick,
                            
                    For my girls always ask, 'Is that all?'"
                            


3.   Vote:    Category: Send this poem to a friend




Make My Boobies One More Size

 ~~~~Biggie Spears


  Oh booby booby
  Oh booby booby

  Oh booby booby
  My chest was supposed to grow
  My cleavage wasn't right yeah
  Oh boobies boobies
  My breasts are completely full
  And now my sweater's tight yeah
  Surgery
  I wanna be a size "d"
  Bigger memories
  I want them to show
  Now oh because

 Chorus:
 My chest flatness was killing me
 And i
 I must confess
 I paid for these
 (paid for these)
 I look 32
 I'm just a child
 I am a crime
 Make my boobies one more size

 Oh baby baby
 I got double D's it's true
 Now you've all been blinded
 Oh pretty boobies
 Your so big and oh so new
 That's just the way I planned it

 Golly
 Rolling Stone was naughty
 See me baby
 Barely wearing clothes
 Now oh because
  
 Chorus:
 My chest flatness was killing me
 And i
 I must confess
 I paid for these
 (paid for these)
 I look 32
 I'm just a child
 I am a crime
 Make my boobies one more size

4.   Vote:    Category: Songs Send this poem to a friend




There was a young fellow from Lees 
            Who handled his tool with great ease. 
                This continual friction 
                Made his sex a mere fiction, 
            But the callus hangs down to his knees. 

5.   Vote:    Category: Men Send this poem to a friend



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