There was an old man of Stamboul
With a varicose vein in his tool.
In attempting to come
Up a little boy's bum
It burst, and he did look a fool.

               There was a young lady from France 
               Supposed to play at a dance, 
                    She ate a banana 
                    And played the piano 
               And music came out of her pants. 

There is a young nurse in Japan
Who lifts men by their pricks to the pan.
A trick of Jujitsu
And either this shits you
Or makes you feel more like a man. 

There was a young man from Rangoon
Whose farts could be heard to the moon.
When you'd least expect 'em,
They'd burst from his rectum
With the force of a raging typhoon.

There was a young man of St. Paul's 
            Possessed the most useless of balls. 
                Till at last, at The Strand, 
                He managed a stand, 
            And tossed himself off in the stalls.