An unfortunate fellow named Chase 
Had an ass that was not quite in place, 
And he showed indignation 
When an investigation 
Showed that some people shit through their face, 

There was a young fellow of Kent 
            Whose prick was so long it was bent, 
                So to save himself trouble 
                He put it in double, 
            And instead of coming he went. 

There was an old man from Pinole 
               Who always got in the wrong hole, 
                    And when he withdrew, 
                    All covered with goo, 
               His temper was out of control. 

Van Gogh found a whore who would lay, 
               And accept a small painting as pay. 
                    "Vive l' Art!" cried Van Gogh, 
                    "But it's too fucking slow--- 
               I wish I could paint ten a day!" 

When a woman in strapless attire 
               Found her breasts working higher and higher, 
                    A guest, with great feeling, 
                    Exclaimed, "How appealing! 
               Do you mind if I piss in the fire?"