Meet Elmer, young son of the Thorpes, 
               Afflicted with psychotic warps. 
                    His idea of fun 
                    Is to bugger a nun, 
               And then vomit all over the corpse. 

When the Bermondsey bricklayers struck, 
               Bill Bloggins was 'aving a fuck. 
                    By uni-on rules, 
                    He 'ad to down tools--- 
               Now wasn't that bloddy 'ard luck! 

                    A beautiful lady named Psyche
                            
                    Is loved by a fellow named Ikey.
                            One thing about Ike
                            The lady can't like
                            
                    Is his prick, which is dreadfully spikey.
                            

There was a young lady of Arden,
The tool of whose swain wouldn't harden.
Said she with a frown,
"I've been sadly let down
By the tool of a fool in a garden."

There was a young lady of Dover
Whose passion was such that it drove her
        To cry, when you came,
        "Oh dear!  What a shame!
Well, now we shall have to start over."