A man and a woman were waiting at the hospital donation center.
Man: "What are you doing here today?"
Woman: "Oh, I'm here to donate some blood. They're going to give
me $5 for it."
Man: "Hmm, that's interesting. I'm here to donate sperm, myself.
But they pay me $25."

The woman looked thoughtful for a moment and they chatted some
more before going their separate ways.
Several months later, the same man and woman meet again in the
donation center.
Man: "Oh, hi there! Here to donate blood again?"
Woman: [shaking her head with mouth closed] "Unh unh." 

The Importance Of "Correct Punctuation"

Dear John:

I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, 
thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and 
inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no 
feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy--will you let 
me be yours?

Gloria

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear John:

I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, 
thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and 
inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no 
feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you 
let me be?

Yours,
Gloria

Two guys are out hunting deer. The first guy says, "Did you see that?" The 
second guy says, "No." "A bald eagle just flew over head." "Oh." A couple 
of minutes later, The first guy says, "Did you see that?" "No." "There
was a black bear walking on that hill over there." "Oh." A few minutes 
later the second guy says, "Did you see that?" The second guy, getting 
aggravated, says, "Yes, I did!" The first guy then says, "Then why did you 
step in it?"

    The US Standard railroad gauge (distance between the
   rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number. Why
   was that gauge used? Because that's the way they built them in
   England, and the US railroads were built by English expatriates. Why
   did the English people build them like that? Because the first rail
   lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad
   tramways, and that's the gauge they used. Why did "they" use that
   gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same
   jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that
   wheel spacing. Why did the wagons use that odd wheel spacing? Well, if
   they tried to use any other spacing the wagons would break on the old
   long distance roads, because that's the spacing of the old wheel ruts.
   So who built these old rutted roads? The first long distance roads in
   Europe were built by Imperial Rome for the benefit of their legions.
   The roads have been used ever since. And the ruts? The initial ruts,
   which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagons,
   were first made by Roman war chariots. Since the chariots were made
   for or by Imperial Rome they were all alike in the matter of wheel
   spacing. Thus, we have the answer to the original questions. The
   United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches derives
   from the original specification for an Imperial Roman army war
   chariot. Specs and Bureaucracies live forever. So, the next time you
   are handed a specification and wonder what horse's behind came up with
   it, you may be exactly right. Because the Imperial Roman chariots were
   made to be just wide enough to accommodate the back-ends of two
   warhorses.

How is pubic hair like parsley?

You push it to the side before you start eating.