The manager of a large city zoo was drafting a letter to order a 
pair of animals. He sat at his computer and typed the following 
sentence: "I would like to place an order for two mongooses, to 
be delivered at your earliest convenience."

He stared at the screen, focusing on that odd word 
mongooses. Then he deleted the word and added another, so 
that the sentence now read: "I would like to place an order for 
two mongeese, to be delivered at your earliest convenience."

Again he stared at the screen, this time focusing on the new 
word, which seemed just as odd as the original one. Finally, he 
deleted the whole sentence and started all over. "Everyone 
knows no full-stocked zoo should be without a mongoose," he 
typed. "Please send us two of them."

What's Michael Jackson's favorite hobby?
Blowing bubbles. 

"What's wrong, sonny?" asked the old timer sympathetically, coming over
to the little kid who was sitting on the curb, crying his heart out.
"I'm crying 'cause I can't do what the big boys do!" So the old man sat 
down and wept too. 

Two blondes were walking through the woods and they
came to some tracks. 
The first blonde said "These look like deer tracks." 
The other said, "No, they look like moose tracks." 
They argued and argued and were still arguing when
the train hit them.

What did the redneck get on his I.Q. test?

Drool.