O'Connell was staggering home with a pint of booze in his back pocket when 
he slipped and fell heavily. Struggling to his feet, he felt something wet 
running down his leg.
"Please, God," he implored, "let it be blood!"

Why do you live like a NUN after you get married?

NUN in the morning, NUN in the afternoon, NUN in the 
      evening, NUN what so ever!


Sent by Tiffany

Why are politicians like diapers?


Both should be changed regularly and for the same reason.

A man goes into a doctor's office and says "Doctor! Doctor! I have five
penises!"
The doctor says,"Good lord! How do your pants fit?"
The man replies, "Like a glove."

What does it mean when the flag at the
Post Office is flying at half mast?

             They're hiring.