Why do men pay more than women for car insurance?
Because women don't get blowjobs while they're driving.

WIFE: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburettor."
HUSBAND: "Water in the carburettor? That's ridiculous."
WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the carburettor."
HUSBAND: "You don't even know what a carburettor is. I'll check it out.
Where's the car?"
WIFE: "In the pool."

A life-long city man, tired of the rat race, decided he was going to
give up the city life, move to the country, and become a chicken
farmer. He found a nice, used chicken farm, which he bought. Turns
out that his next door neighbor was also a chicken farmer. The
neighbor came for a visit one day and said, "Chicken farming isn't
easy. Tell you what. To help you get started, I'll give you 100
chickens."
The new chicken farmer was thrilled. Two weeks later the new
neighbor stopped by to see how things were going. The new farmer
said, "Not too good. All 100 chickens died." The neighbor said, "Oh,
I can't believe that. I've never had any trouble with my chickens.
I'll give you 100 more."
Another two weeks went by, and the neighbor stops in again. The new
farmer says, "You're not going to believe this, but the second 100
chickens died too." Astounded, the neighbor asked, "what went wrong?
What did you do to them?"
Well, says the new farmer, "I'm not sure whether I'm planting them too
deep or not far apart enough."

I went out with my girlfriend and asked her,
"Why is it everytime I go out with you, I end up
spending hundreds of dollars?"

"Because I'm a prostitute." 

Do you know why the baby Jesus wasn't born in Iowa?
     They couldn't find three wise men!!!

Sent by Spencer