Bill sat alone in the hospital room at his dying wife's beside. It was difficult to hear her above the many life sustaining devices, as
her voice was little more than a hoarse whisper. "Bill darling," she breathed. "I've got a confession to make before I
go... I ... I'm the one who took the $10,000 from your safe in the house ... I spent it on a fling with your best friend
Jimmy. And it was I who forced your mistress to leave the community in utter disgrace. I'm afraid I also was the
one who reported you to the IRS for income tax evasion..."

"That's all right dearest; don't even give it a second thought." said Bill. "I have a small confession too. I'm the one
who poisoned you." 

A Jesuit, a Dominican and a Franciscan were walking along an old road, 
debating the greatness of their orders. Suddenly, an apparition of the 
Holy Family appeared in front of them, with Jesus in a manger and Mary and 
Joseph praying over him. The Franciscan fell on his face, over come with 
awe at the of sight God born in such poverty. The Dominican fell to his 
knees, Adoring the beautiful reflection of the Trinity and the Holy 
Family. The Jesuit walked up to Joseph, put his arm around his shoulder, 
and said, "So, where ya thinking of sending the kid for school? 

Q:What's another term for lesbian?
A:Vagitarian.

 pregnant women were waiting in the doctor's waiting room for an antenatal
check-up and were all knitting garments for there respective babies.
Suddnely the first expectant mother stops knitting, checks her watch, 
pulls a bottle of pills from her handbag and takes one...
"What was that?", the other two ask, curiously.
"Calcium tablet. Good for mommy, good for little baby", she replies, patting
her stomach affectionately.
Satisfied, all 3 continue with their knitting...
5 minutes later, the second one stops knitting, checks her watch, takes a
bottle of pills from her handbag and takes one..
"What was that?", the other two enquire
"Vitamin tablet", she replies, "Good for mommy, good for little baby" and
she pats her stomach affectionately.
All 3 smile and continue busily with their knitting...
5 minutes later, the last woman stops knitting, checks her watch, takes a
bottle of pills from her handbag and takes one..
"What was that?" ask the other two..
"Thalidomide. I can't knit sleeves..."

Two goldfish are in a tank.
One said to the other:

'Do you know how to drive this thing?'


Sent by Claire