What did the elephant say to the naked man?

That's cute, but can it pick up peanuts!

A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer and says to the bartender, "Hey, I 
got this great Polish Joke..." 
The barkeep glares at him and says in a warning tone of voice: "Before you 
go telling that joke you better know that I'm Polish, both bouncers are 
Polish and so are most of my customers" 
"Okay" says the customer,"I'll tell it very slowly." 

Judy arrived home from her date, tossed her coat over a chair, her handbag 
over the banister, she threw her clothes around the bedroom without care. 
The next morning at breakfast, her mother asked her if she had a good 
time?
"Oh", sighed Judy, "I had a wonderful time."
"I thought as much", her mother remarked, "Your underpants are still stuck 
to the ceiling!"

Did you hear the latest theory about Monica Lewinsky?

It may never be proven but they think she may be the
youngest woman to have ever held the Presidency. 

Did you hear about the blind skunk who fell in love with a fart?