I had to go through a needle location biopsy recently.
This involves putting a 6 inch needle through a most sensitive
part of a woman's anatomy.  I had to sit there alone with
this thing pierced through my anatomy and I wondered, "Is
this how a whale feels?"  It occured to me, "I'm big, I'm 
white, I'm gay, and I have been harpooned!  That must make
me Moby Dyke!" My friends now call me "MD".

"Hey Bill, I heard you can download the whole
Tyson-Holyfield fight off the internet".

"No kidding? How much memory will it take up?".

"Not much, just two Bytes."

There's just no pleasin' some women at all. Just the other day I was
   trying to read the paper and naturally, my wife picked that moment to
   begin a discussion. I heard her say "...and then I went to see Dr.
   Gibbons." I grunted a reply, and she raised her voice saying, "Are you
   listening to me?"
   
   I put the paper down and said, "Yes sweetheart, I heard every word.
   You said you went to see Dr. Gibbons. So... how is he ???"
   
   Would y'all believe she didn't talk to me the rest of the evening ?