My twin sister and I had been out on our first double date. I immediately 
walked in the house after the date, but my sister stayed outside to kiss 
her date goodnight. My mom was curious to see what they were doing. In 
order to see, she had to step on the toilet lid in the bathroom to see out 
the window. It was dark and she failed to close the lid so she slipped 
into the toilet. She was really embarrassed when she came into the front 
room with wet feet and had to explain why.

At a book fair which I attended last week, I noticed that there were
many of my favorite books missing. I went up to the lady selling
classics and said, "What have you done with the medieval novels? Where's
Ivanhoe?"

Without missing a beat, she answered, "It's been banned from the fair!
There's too much Saxon violence!"

My friend was always teasing me about cybersex and trying
to lead me on.  One day he wrote a really racy letter so I 
decided to "call his bluff".  Forgetting I'd deleted his letter
out of  habit, I accidently responded to my Recipe Du Jour list
instead  and wrote:  "Thanks a lot.  Now I can't get any work
done.  My panties are wet from the anticipation of your next
email."  A gentleman wrote back:   "Sorry, I didn't realize
salsa had such an effect."