The other night I was invited out for a night with "the boys."
I told my wife that I would be home by midnight...promise!
Well, the hours passed and the beer was going down way too easy.
At around 3 A.M., drunk as a skunk, I headed for home. Just as
I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and
cuckooed 3 times.

Quickly, I realized she'd probably wake up, so I cuckooed another
9 times. I was really proud of myself, having a quick witty
solution, even when smashed, to escape a possible conflict.
The next morning my wife asked me what time I got in, and I told
her 12 o'clock.  She didn't seem disturbed at all.  Whew!  Got
away with that one!

She then told me that we needed a new cuckoo clock.  When I asked
her why she said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times,
then said 'oh shit,' cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat,
cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then
farted.


Sent by Inna

Something only recently discovered:

Due to an anticipated voter turnout much larger than
originally expected, the polling facilities may not
be able to handle the load all at once. 

Therefore, Republicans are requested to vote on
Wednesday, November 8, and Democrats and Independents
on Tuesday, November 7. Please pass this message
along and help us to make sure that nobody gets left out. 

2000 Presidential Election Commission

MOSCOW, RUSSIA - A drunk security man asked a colleague at
the Moscow bank they were guarding to stab his bullet-proof
vest to see if it protected him against the knife.....

It didn't and the 25-year-old guard died of a heart wound.