When two service station attendants in Ionia, Michigan,
 refused to hand over the cash to an intoxicated robber, the
 man threatened to call the police. They still refused, so
 the robber called the police and was arrested.

Another flight Attendant's comment on a less than perfect
landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo 
bounces us to the terminal."

Old Simpson was a constant thorn in the side of the Parent-Teachers
Association, with his steadfast opposition to innovation. For one
thing, he was vociferously against the introduction of foreign
languages in the town's junior high school curriculum.
Waving his Bible high in the air, he shouted, "If English was good
enough for the prophets and the apostles, it's plenty good enough
for me."